Handjob Chihuahua

I spent seventeen years in a dishpan,
Fourteen long months in Siam,
A week and a day in a treehouse,
And a day lost and drunk in Finland.
When I came back home to be with you,
You really had few things to say,
You lost my socks in the blizzards,
And could pay me back in just one way.
But a handjob won't solve all my problems,
And a handjob won't make you go away,
And I'll be honest and tell you it's painful,
To get forty six handjobs today.
So why did I eat all your bagels?
And sleep with your mother instead?
Because nothing you did to destroy me,
All these handjobs have gone to your head.

posted by panda6 at 1:49:00 PM

AssPanda

Asspanda, asspanda, where have you gone?
Your breadcrumbs were eaten by dogs.
Are you lost in the forest, or down by the lake,
Or perhaps in a restroom at a strip club?
Stay far away from the gingerbread house,
The woman inside is a crazy lesbian
With guns, a whip and a unicycle.
I shall seek you out and find you,
And I will save you,
And we'll go right back to that strip club bathroom,
'Cause I lost my car keys and I think I left them there
Next to my old thong.
Asspanda come home!

posted by panda6 at 3:34:00 PM